Just in case

The World Does In-Fact Go To Heck

get yourself


Devices of Defense & Maimery

exempli gratia:Paddle Oar Die

Weighted noggin
Assailant smacker
Paddle Oar Die
Preorder This Weapon

Maybe there’s an island, a perfect, zombie-free island, where you can live in happiness, forgetting the horrors you’ve seen. Try to find it in a canoe with this paddle and, when you fail, flail this heavy weapon in a vain attempt to keep the undead at bay.

Applications of use

row a boat, spank, bash

Paddle Oar Die
Details Details Details Details Details

Ah, but is one weapon enough?

You probably need more

Stock up: King of Spades with razor-sharp teeth Observe & Consider In the Gutter avoid living eyeballs Observe & Consider Crescent Doom scoop up those un-deadies Observe & Consider



With all the doom-mongering in the world now-a-days, it's only natural to offer ones fellow fearers some real security. And why shouldn't it be in the form of a few beautifully designed blunt objects? Worst case scenario, heck breaks lose on Earth and one is forced to brandish a weapon, whatever is closest and bluntest at the time, and defend himself and loved ones at all cost. Best case scenario, the world stays as ‘lovely’ as it is now, the reason for the season disappears, and these objects of fearful beauty become an artistic reminder of the once-had fears of yesteryear.

These weapons should be displayed in easy-to-reach places of the home or work place until needed as life-saving-devices.

Devices of Defense & Maimery were designed by the doom-mongers of Fuzzco. Each piece is cut and formed by hand, made of red oak and carbon steel for rugged strength and beauty. We're doing our part to preserve life when it all goes down the tubes. See you on the battlefield, may the best man/woman/mutant win!



We'd love to hear from you. We'd love to hear from anybody really,
So long as they're of the living.